Monday, March 10, 2014

Learning to Walk in Heels

I spent most of my life as a jeans and sneakers gal. Most of the time I'm still spending my days in nice jeans and some Merrells. It helps that my job doesn't require me to dress "up" every day.
Every few years though I get a bug up my butt to dress up, to look girly, and to infuse my wardrobe with color. I buy a pair of heels, stock up on makeup, and usually buy a fun purse or two. My husband rolls his eyes as I hobble around the house and Google makeup ideas. 

"Look at my new white eyeliner!" I tell him.

Uh huh.

"Did you see my new heels?"

I heard them on the tile.

Last week began another round of primping. I bought two pairs of heels, new jeans (that fit, like they're not baggy), and bought some new eye makeup. Ready to go, let's look like a stereotype! Yes!
I spend most Fridays in meetings rather than teaching, so I chose Friday to try out my heels. After my first meeting my friend Mary looked at me quizzically.

"Did you hurt yourself?"


"You're limping. Did you hurt your ankle?"

I pouted. No, I'm wearing heels.

"Why? Are you doing something fancy today?"

No. I just wanted to.

Apparently I wasn't doing so hot walking in heels. Monday morning I put them on again, determined. I wondered if I was "missing something." What do I do when I want to learn something? Google that shit. So I Googled "how to walk in heels." It came up on the suggested list so apparently I'm not the only one asking.

I found a video which I figured would be most helpful. A fake blond chick with bubblegum pink lipstick showed us some heel porn and I'm thinking, "Who wears this shit?" (and "Are her boobs real?"). She then suggested to start learning on wedge heels (which I had bought, go me) before you move on to like stiletto heels or sky scrapers. She told us "girls" to walk heel to toe rather than toe to heel or midstrike. I had my ah-ha moment. I'm a midstriker and I know that because I'm a runner. So I practiced walking heel to toe for about five minutes. I practiced walking in a straight line (one foot directly in front of the other) which apparently helps you develop your swagger (I have a swagger? I thought I hobbled). 

So then...I swaggered all day at work. And realized doing it the bubblegum blond way is way more comfortable that my previous "strategy." It's definitely a thought and movement change that I have to think about. It's not automatic for me. Yet. But maybe with more practice I'll be swaggering without a worry. And that's important learning right there.

Photo "Stiletto Shoe" by Boaz Yiftach courtesy of 


  1. I too wear comfy shoes most of the time, Danskos most of the year. The thing I have to remember when in heels, is to walk slower, and take smaller steps.

    1. Thanks for reading! Sadly my feet grew after I had S1 and never went back to their normal size, so all my clogs didn't fit anymore. I sold them on eBay but never bought new ones. Those were definitely the most comfy shoes though. You should try Alegria shoes. Also super comfy but more color and more fun (if you want that). I always thought that taking bigger strides was the rule in heels because I saw all the runway models doing it, but apparently that is not the case. Little short people steps is the way to go.

  2. I don't do heels. And although I love how they look and secretly want to trip women for looking so good in them, I have bad feet and can't. So instead I look like my own stereotype of frumpy mom that wears her old ugly with our great skechers everywhere.

    1. There's nothing wrong with comfy and Sketchers Meredith - I'm right there with you girl. I'm not sure what it is in my brain that makes me want to "go glam" every once in a while. I feel much more comfortable in my jeans and sneakers and a t-shirt (and a fleece). Thanks for your comment!

  3. I tried high heels once, or um I mean my "friend" tried them once, and he didn't like them at all...they are much better on women.

  4. LoL Mike! They are not easy to walk in, that's for sure. Although Eddie Izzard is way better at it than I am. One of my favorite videos (don't mind his cursing); Thanks for stopping by!